Conversation With Mom 18

Dearest Mommy,

Your birthday came and went and I didn't even mention anything to you. Your 62nd birthday was on April 6, 2012. It's not that I didn't want to wish you a happy birthday, it is just that I was just too wrapped up in pain to broach the subject with you.

It was the 2nd birthday you weren't around for. I miss getting you cakes and surprising you with one sort of knick-knacks or the other.

This year, a week before your birthday the family went to your grave and cleaned up your resting place and Dad planted the orchid that he got for you on the last birthday you were around. It had bloomed for the first time and Dad thought it fitting that you should celebrate your birthday with your birthday orchid.

I couldn't get you a cake anymore, but I went online and found you a pretty picture of a birthday cake and were you here that is the kind of cake that I'd want to get for you.

                                                      Happy Belated Birthday Mommy!

Don't you think the cake looks pretty Mommy? I know you would have loved it if you were here and that cake was for real.

I love you Mom and I miss you. Always.

Hope that where ever you are, you are safe and happy.

R.I.P. Mom.

Old Photographs

Dad was taking pictures of the old photographs we had and some of them were pictures taken with Mom. I felt kinda weepy looking at those pictures again as memories of those events in the pictures came sweeping by.

There were pictures when Along and I were small, pictures when I was a teenager and Abang was a toddler. It all bring back memories.

To cap it all, yesterday I just dreamed about Mom. I dreamed that she was still alive now and we were sending Abang off on a trip to Hong Kong Disneyland all by himself. Mom looked so proud of her little boy who is now a young man.

Gosh I miss Mom so much.

Looking at these pictures, they just impacted the loss tenfold. Looking at Mom as she was.

                                                                    Mom and I a long time ago

Mom, Abang and Along

Feel really sad now, thinking of the wonderful, loving woman I knew as Mom and how she is no longer on this plane to share this journey I am still going through now.

Look at how happy we once were.

And now, all we have are memories.

Now all we have to remember her by are our memories and her grave site where we only ever visit once in a while. 

Miss you Mom. RIP.