Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Conversation With Mom 38

Been a while Mom. You know better than most, what with you being where you are now, what's been going in my life of late. I ask for guidance from you and Allah on a nightly basis and sometimes in between too and I know I'm having a hard time finding my way back... but I feel as if I'm getting back to where I was before the relapse happened.

Dreamed of you last night. Like you were still part of our daily life and you were giving me instructions on kitchen duty as I helped you with lunch as I had done so many times when you were still alive.

I miss you Mom. Everyday. And I really wished I still had you while I was going through the nightmare of the relapse.

I don't think anyone in the family could have understood what I was going through as much as you would have.

I miss you Mom. All the time. 

You were always my confidante. My best friend. My solace who gave me succor and comfort. 

It's hard day to day going on with you no longer here. I guess I sound like a broken record. But I still miss you so much. I guess time refuses to let me heal. It's been 3 years and 4 months and a number of days and it still feel as if it was just yesterday that I last saw your face.

Mommy.... I love you. And I need your comforting and calming presence to reassure me that whatever may come for me in this life, nothing will be as bad as I imagined it to be.

Tears for the one who left us behind,
For a peaceful eternal rest,
As I sit here and remember her at her best,
I wonder if she sees me missing her terribly;
Loss is profound and I think of her fondly,
You were all that was sweet and true my beloved Mommy.

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