Sunday, August 7, 2011

Conversation With Mom 2

Mommy sayang,

Along was unwell yesterday . She was in so much pain and she was crying for you. She said when you were alive you were the only one who would wake up in the middle of the night to massage her wind-stricken body. She said you were the only one who would take care of her when she's not feeling well.

She reminisce that even when you yourself weren't feeling well you still got up at night to take care of her. Such was your love.

I remember mom, how you were always there to take care of each one of us when we were sick. How you would make black tea for me when I had diarrhea. Or cook porridge for along when she kept on vomiting. Or rub oil on dad in the middle of the night when no one else would wake up.

How you would massage Abang's legs when they were sore, or prepare him a special diet when he just got circumcised.

Mom, you were our Florence Nightingale, you were our Angel here on earth.

Now you are gone and the emptiness we feel is amplified when certain things happens in our lives that remind us of what we have lost.

I wanted to cry along with Along when she was heartbroken that you are no longer here for succor. I too have missed your loving touch, your caring spirit your kind attention.

Mom, you have gone too soon. This life feels incomplete without you in it.

How many ways can I say that I still wish you were still here.

Mom, I want so much to say R.I.P. and not only mean it, but actually allow you to R.I.P. but I don't think your spirit is settled with us here still missing and needing you so bad.

I'm sorry if I'm making your spirit restless over yonder. I really don't mean to give you a troubled after life, but I can't help missing you and thinking of you. I've been dreaming about you so many times since you had passed away and it all points out that you are a restless spirit and I can't help but feel that it's my fault that your spirit isn't calm and in peace.

I keep wanting you back mom. I know it's wrong, I know it's impossible, but life is just not the same without you.

Mom, I'll say it again, R.I.P. I hope I'll learn to leave you in peace soon.


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