This will be the third new year we will be celebrating without you. So much have happened since you breathed your last. Especially this year. But that isn't why I wanted to write to you today.
I just want to spend these last hours of 2012 with you.
A few days ago, dad was busy asking Along to scan old pictures, and it brought back a slew of memories.
Thinking back to all those wonderful times captured in those old photographs, I was resorted to tears... thinking how those times can never be relived again because you are no longer here with us.
Remember this picture Mom? It was during my 17th Birthday Party. You know Dad, always wants to give his little girl everything. He missed by a year though. Hehe. It's sweet 16 Dad not sweet 17! But still, it was the thought that count. Dad wanted me to have a Sweet Birthday Celebration. And so we had one didn't we Mom?
And you were the best. Even though you just came off one of your relapse you were such a trooper for my birthday. Abang was just a baby then and Along was in U.
And I remember thinking then that life was just about perfect. I had my family, I had my best friend with me, life was my oyster.
If only happiness is a lasting instead of transient thing.
Then there wouldn't be days like today when I feel like my whole world is shattering again because I have images of you flooding my mind and how I yearn to just touch your face one more time, here your voice one more time...
I'm writing this to you while greeting the New Year, because as always, I want to take you along with me. And I thought, what better way to usher in the New Year than to spend some time with Mom.
I miss you always and think of you all the time and wish you were still here every single day.
But Allah is the All Mighty, The All Knowing, The Compassionate... and Allah knew more than we do that you've had enough of this life and that your time has come to move on.
I don't question Allah at all, but I can't help but wish, nonetheless, that you are still with us among the living.
Life has not been the same since you walked out on us that cold Thursday evening in 2010.
Mom... I carry within me pieces of you everywhere I go, every day I move forward.