Sunday, March 10, 2013

Conversation With Mom 30

Hello Mommy,

Been a while since we last had a conversation. Of course if you want to be technical, the last real conversation we had was over two years ago while you were still alive... but you know what I mean... the conversation that we have at this blog of mine... where I do most of the talking and hope somehow deep in my heart I could hear the response you would give.

I went for an interview on Friday. I don't know how it turns out just yet. I hope you'll bless me and I'll be lucky enough to land this job.

I know you were never materialistic and you only worry about money when the basic necessity of life cannot be met... while life isn't as bad as it was at one point or the other in the past, it would be nice to have some sort of financial independence.

Dad is old and not very healthy anymore and it is just too bad of me still being so dependent on him.

I don't know Mom... I wish you were here and could bolster my spirit with one of your bright comforting truism... Like, 'Things will work out dear', or my favorite, 'Let tomorrow take care of itself'.

I miss you Mom. The comfort that I could find just by being near you. You were always such a warm, giving, loving presence and it always made me feel better to be around you... and see that gentle smile on your face...

How do I move on and leave you in the past Mom? I can't seem to let you go and you have already gone for quite a while... and I'm still hanging on tight to whatever is left of you...

I wonder what you would say to me now if you could... would you tell me not to dwell too much on the pain of losing you? That sounds like what you would say... you were always pragmatic that way.

I love you Mom and I miss you all the time.


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